Video Production: Narrative Digital Media
Actor: Rob Jaeger
Why am I still doing laundry?
INT. Back of City Cleaners Shop
The Shop has been set up to resemble a very crude recording studio, with a sheet hanging in the back like a curtain.
SIR CLEAN enters the shot from behind the curtain, slightly wrestling with it as he does.
SIR CLEAN
Hello! And welcome to another segment of “Your Questions, Scrubbed Away!” I am your host, the Clean, Impeccable, Tidy, Always willing to answer “Why?”…
VFX
Words appear on screen as he says them, eventually spelling C.I.T.Y.
CLEAN
IMPECCABLE
TIDY
Y
SIR CLEAN
… SIR CLEAN!!
SIR CLEAN strikes a classic superhero pose but much more closely resembling Artie, the strongest man in the world, from Pete & Pete.
SIR CLEAN
Rumor has it we have another question from one of our laundry-laden viewers… Let’s see what it is.
An arm reaches into the frame holding a letter. SIR CLEAN, surprised by the sudden appearance, gives a quick jump. Recovering, he snatches the letter from the hand.
SIR CLEAN
Uhhh…. Thanks.
The arm quickly retreats off-screen. Leaving SIR CLEAN looking perplexed.
SIR CLEAN
Anyway! Clara from West Akron writes, “I have a question for SIR CLEAN…”
SIR CLEAN looks up to the camera.
SIR CLEAN
Called it.
SIR CLEAN looks back down at the letter.
SIR CLEAN
“I have a question for SIR CLEAN. Why does it take me so long to do laundry, and why do my clothes sit in piles on my bedroom floor until I put them away?”
SIR CLEAN crumbles up the letter and dropkicks it out of frame.
SFX: Crowd cheering
SIR CLEAN
That’s a great question, Clara. And I’m going to answer it with a question of my own.
SIR CLEAN pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket, unfolds it, and begins reading.
SIR CLEAN
Dear Clara…
SIR CLEAN looks up from his letter, points at the camera, and silently but largely mouths “That’s You.” He looks back down at the letter and continues reading.
SIR CLEAN
“Dear Clara, why are you still doing your laundry?”
SIR CLEAN shoves the letter back into his pocket.
SIR CLEAN
City Cleaners can take care of those pesky and persistent laundry piles with affordable, dependable, and convenient service. How long have you been doing your laundry? Is it over 130 years? I don’t think it is.
SIR CLEAN ushers the viewer to follow him with a wave of his arm.
SIR CLEAN
Follow me.
SIR CLEAN confidently walks out of the frame and cut to the next scene.
INT. Home
SIR CLEAN strides into the bedroom of a home. The room is spotless.
SIR CLEAN
Notice something about this room? This room belongs to Nancy.
Cut to a woman standing outside her home waving to the camera. Cut back to SIR CLEAN.
SIR CLEAN
Nancy is a loyal City Cleaners customer. Nancy’s bedroom has no piles of laundry cascading across the floor. No weird smells are coming from unknown articles of clothing. She’s tidy. Put together. She is the envy of her neighborhood. A young person called her cool the other day.
Cut back to Nancy on her front lawn. She enthusiastically gives a big smile and a thumbs-up.
Cut back to SIR CLEAN.
SIR CLEAN
She’s so cool… Anyway! Imagine all the things you could be doing if you weren’t being inundated with the chore of doing laundry.
SIR CLEAN puts a hand to his chin. He looks up in deep thought as a list quickly scrolls up the screen.
JUMPING ROPE
YOUR TAXES
KNITTING
PUZZLES
BALLROOM DANCING
WRITE THE NEXT GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL
WHITTLING
GET YOUR PILOT’S LICENSE
STEAL THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
WRITE A CITY CLEANER’S COMMERCIAL
REDISCOVER YOURSELF
FORGIVENESS
SIR CLEAN looks back at the camera. A little confused about all the text that just flew through the air.
SIR CLEAN
Back to the studio!
SIR CLEAN exits the frame as we cut back to the studio.
INT. City Cleaners Studio
We find SIR CLEAN dusting his studio backdrop with a feather duster. His back facing the camera. He turns around.
SIR CLEAN
Sorry, I thought I could squeeze in a little cleaning before you got here. That Nancy is just so cool with her clean room and well-maintained lifestyle.
Cut back to Nancy waving from her front lawn.
Cut back to SIR CLEAN.
SIR CLEAN
See Clara, with help from City Cleaners you too can have more time to do the things that make you happy.
The list returns as it scrolls up the screen.
SIR CLEAN
Hey! Stop! We already did this!
The words stop mid-screen. SIR CLEAN begins scolding the text.
SIR CLEAN
Down. Doooowwwnn.
The text follows his commands as it slowly starts moving its way down the screen until it’s gone.
SIR CLEAN
That’s better. Where was I? Oh yes, a carefree lifestyle thanks to having more time and less stress thanks to City Cleaners.
SIR CLEAN confidently puts his hands on his hips. He takes a beat as he ponders.
SIR CLEAN
What was the question? Oh yes! “Why are you still doing your own laundry?”
SIR CLEAN looks to the side at Camera 2, in a mildly distressed manner.
SIR CLEAN
I don’t know, Clara! Just call City Cleaners. It’s so easy!
SIR CLEAN looks back to Camera 1.
SIR CLEAN
Well, ladies and gentlemen, hopefully, I’ve answered your question as well as City Cleaners keeps your clothes clean. And if anyone else at home has a pressing question, send them in and we’ll get you an answer! I’m SIR CLEAN, and this has been another “Your Questions, Scrubbed Away”! See You next time!
SIR CLEAN waves at the camera as we cut to black.
